Why Do Some People Gatekeep Information That Could Help Somebody Else?

I have a question.

Why are some people so determined to make everybody struggle just because they had to struggle?

You can ask somebody the simplest question:

Who did your website?

Where did you find that location?

What website did you use?

How did you hear about that opportunity?

And suddenly everybody gets mysterious. 😂

“Oh, I don't remember.”

You don't remember?!

You hired them Tuesday. 😂

Or you get one of those answers that sounds helpful but tells you absolutely nothing.

“You just have to network.”

Okay... with WHO?

“You have to put yourself out there.”

WHERE? 😂

That's the kind of gatekeeping I don't understand.

“I Had to Figure It Out Myself”

I've heard this one plenty of times.

“Nobody helped me. I had to figure everything out myself.”

And I understand it—to a point.

If you spent years building relationships, spending money, researching and learning through mistakes, nobody is entitled to everything you've built.

But if you know how hard it was for you, why would you purposely want the next person to struggle too?

If I stepped in a hole and broke my ankle, and I see you walking toward the same hole, should I warn you?

Or sit there in my cast thinking:

Well, nobody warned me. 😂

Now, Everything Isn't Gatekeeping

There IS a difference between information and access.

I'm not giving someone another person's private phone number.

I'm not handing over every professional relationship I've spent years building.

And if you're asking me to teach you my entire business process from beginning to end?

Baby, that's not a question.

That's consulting. 😂

People should absolutely protect their relationships, businesses and expertise.

I'm talking about the weird stuff.

A public website.

A resource.

A company name.

A publicly available opportunity.

Something that costs you absolutely nothing to share.

Why are we guarding that like it's classified information?

Sometimes I Think It's Fear

Maybe some people worry that if they tell you what they know, you'll become competition.

If I know something you don't, I'm ahead.

If I tell you, maybe you catch up.

And if you're really good?

Maybe you pass me.

But somebody else's success doesn't automatically take something away from mine.

Especially in creative industries.

I've learned plenty through research. I've learned from people willing to answer a question. And I've definitely learned some things by making mistakes and saying:

Yeah... we're NEVER doing that again. 😂

If sharing one of those lessons saves somebody else a headache, I'm okay with that.

But You Still Have to Do the Work

There's another side to this too.

Sometimes people don't want information.

They want you to do everything for them.

You give them the website.

They want you to fill out the application.

You give them the contact.

They want you to make the introduction.

You explain what to do.

They want you to walk them through every single step.

No ma'am. 😂

I'll show you the door.

You still have to open it.

Because information doesn't guarantee success anyway.

I could give ten people the exact same resource. Some will use it. Some will save it and forget about it. And one person might take it and completely change their situation.

Good for them.

So Where's the Line?

Protect your relationships.

Protect confidential information.

Protect your business.

And charge for your expertise when somebody is asking you to provide an actual service.

But when it's basic information that could help somebody take one step forward?

I don't see the harm in saying:

“Hey, here's something I wish somebody would've told me.”

Instead of:

“Nobody helped me, so figure it out yourself.”

Maybe sometimes it can be:

“Nobody helped me. That's exactly why I'm helping you.”

Because helping somebody get through a door doesn't mean there's suddenly no room left for you.

But I'm curious—where do YOU draw the line between protecting what you've built and gatekeeping?